Shopping with Zoro
by iatethedarknessflame
Summary: Zoro x OC One Piece one-shot. It's always an adventure when any of the Strawhats disembarks the ship. Trouble and mischief are attracted to the crew like bees to honey. But what if it's the crew causing the mischief? Did you ever think Zoro had a taste for this kind of thing?


"Would the lovely couple be interested in our ripe selection of seasonal fruits?" the vendor offered, holding a juicy pear in one hand and a plump, red apple in another.

I bet we looked _super_ cute together but it was out of necessity. I only held on to Zoro's arm because we'd separated immediately if I didn't. Of course, he'd catch up eventually if he did wander off, but not after getting in trouble and slicing up half the town. Besides, it's about the journey, not the destination, and I'd rather meander with the hopeless swordsman than walk around town alone.

"No thank you," I declined politely.

"No thank you what, Crystal?" Zoro asked. "I didn't say anything."

Apparently it didn't even occur to him that the man was addressing us even though I thought it was _pretty_ obvious how cute we appeared.

"The man asked if we wanted to buy fruit. Do you want some?"

"No," he stated and stared back at him. "Does he look familiar to you? Like we already walked by him?"

"He is the first person we encountered at the port. We haven't been through here yet," I explained.

But of course we had gone practically everywhere else on the island in the two hours we had been walking around. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew that had decided to go shopping, found the stores in 5 minutes and most of them had finished up by now.

"Look, there's Sanji!"

"Psh, I don't see him," Zoro grumbled, not actually bothering to look. Just in case, he pulled me into a side street to avoid crossing paths with his least favorite curly eyebrowed cook.

We entered from steep hill and I could see the entire town laid out in front of us and the port just beyond it. Because yes, we entered from the opposite side we should have. Sure, I located the gym equipment shop the moment Zoro suggested we should buy a new punching bag. But I'd never hurt his pride by correcting his sense of direction. Unless we are about to walk off the edge of a cliff, which happens a bit too often. Then I'd give him a friendly nudge in the right direction. Like I said, it's about the journey, not the destination.

We gave the town a good survey and saved the block containing the gym equipment shop for last. I really think Zoro is blessed with the ability to find _everything_ except what he's looking for.

"Welcome to our store!" the worker yelled from the back when he heard us walk in.

It was a fairly large complex with rows of all types of equipment. The punching bags were right up front so we didn't have to go too deeply into the store to find them.

"Let's role-play," Zoro muttered under his breath.

"Wow, Zo, I didn't know you were into that sort of thing," I giggled.

"How may I help you today?" the owner asked with a deep bow.

He was a total dweeb and did not look like he belonged in gym equipment store. The lanky man couldn't have been much taller than me and was just as thin but without any distinguishable muscle. He wore a prim dress shirt tucked into sharp black pants like he was on his way to an entrepreneurial networking dinner. Zoro was right, it would be fun to mess with him.

"Hey, we're here looking for something for my sister." His massive paw landed on my head. "I want to get her started learning self-defense before she goes off on her own in the real world. Do you have anything for beginners?"

"Oh but of course! What a beautiful young lady - I understand why you want to keep her safe. What types of equipment were you considering. We have jump ropes for cardio, dumbbells that start at 1 pound, rubber bands for toning arms and legs..."

We nodded politely as he continued to list half of his collection of goods.

"Does any of that sound appealing?"

"Well, do you have something more life-like? Something where I could simulate a real-life experience?" I asked kindly.

"You mean like this, dear sister?" Zoro asked with a creepy grin and walked over to the hefty punching bags.

I kind of wanted to hit him because he was being disturbingly nice but we were pretending to be different people so I had to pretend not to be creeped out.

"Oh of course! Well aren't you two just precious!" the owner cried and his hands flew dramatically in the air. "Feel free to try them out. We have our one-punch-guarantee! If it cannot withstand one punch, damage cost is covered by us!"

They must get a lot of the rowdy physical types tearing through their store. Or at least they pretend to in order to make their products more seem more popular.

"Why don't you try this one," he suggested, offering something about half my height.

It was elevated on a flimsy wooden stand so my fist would hit dead center with a simple punch.

"Alright, sis. What do you do if you're out past dark and a large, drunk man corners you in an alley out of sight from the main road? He has nothing but a bottle in his hands but you notice a gun in his waistband."

If that was the case, I probably would have lured the fool there in order to rip his heart out and drink his blood without the public eye turned on me as the sweet juices poured into my mouth. But...

"I'd call for my strong big brother to come and save me!" I smiled innocently.

"How sweet!" the owner cooed.

"That's right, you would," Zoro growled and gave the equipment one solid punch that sent it bowling over several isles of store goods.

"You asshole," I muttered to him while stifling a laugh.

"No, that one is not good enough," he decided, shaking his head. "Do you have anything more sturdy?"

"How about you try this one?"

The man was good - he kept the same, business-friendly smile plastered to his face despite the collateral damage. However, he was clearly addressing me when he motioned towards the next one.

"Give it your best shot!" he encouraged.

"My best shot," I mused, stepping up in front of it.

If this were an enemy before me, I could slice him in half before his next heartbeat. With the power of my Zo Zo fruit, I could have a statue of Goliath fall from the heavens and crush him. I could turn him to stone with one glance. So here goes my best shot...

"Big brother!" I cried and turned around with my face hiding in my hands.

"You called?" Zoro roared and charged the inanimate foe.

The owner continued to stand there with the polite smile turned permanently upwards even though Zoro was clearly about to take out the other half of the store. Instead, he stopped short of connecting with the punching bag and flicked it instead. The force of his finger alone caused it to topple over. Like dominoes, it took out the rest of the punching bags lined up on display leaving only one standing.

"We'll take that one!" I announced.

"Let me just call my crew to pack it up for you. That is our sturdiest punching bag, you know." He seemed in a hurry to get us out of there.

"No need," I smiled and went to pick up the equipment myself.

It had a wonderful dense, metal base that wouldn't easily yield to our training routines. The bag was a fine black leather

I held it as Zoro paid (with a very large tip) and we walked out of the store.

"Do you want me to carry that? It looks heavy," Zoro offered.

"No thank you," I smiled, shifting to carry the entire thing on one shoulder.

As we distanced ourselves from the store, I heard the man wailing "why does this have to happen every week?".

"Actually, here. Can you take it and hold on a moment?"

"Sure." Zoro shouldered the equipment and immediately started to wander off the moment my back was turned.

This would be an exercise in my assassin skills. Get in and get out without being seen. When I wasn't the acting chore boy (girl) for the crew, I was the Blind Assassin, a thirsty demon striking from the shadows. My reputation stretch backed years as Zoro's accomplice and thanks to the mystery veiled around my character, I was assigned credit for any collateral event, real or legend, that was not claimed by any other party.

My task this time? Clean up the store we trashed.

In the two years that the crew had parted, I had broken down every barrier to become faster than the speed of light. In case we ever encountered that Marine light bastard again, he would be no match for me in speed or element. Because I had also let the darkness into my soul.

As I raced around the store, picking up shelves and replacing goods as best I could according to the labels, I thought about this conundrum. Why was I helping this man now when other times I had no reservations about the carnage left behind every time satiated my blood thirsty demon? And the thought was quickly replaced with "alright, where's Zoro?" as the task was complete and I needed to go reunite with him.

 _You did him a great favor, cleaning up his store. Let's not leave before he grants one for us._

A familiar chill ran down my spine when it suggested I take his life and drink his blood.

"I think I'm just gonna go find Zoro now. Nami said it's gross when we do that," I replied quietly under my breath as I walked out of the store.

For now, it stayed quiet, knowing that Zoro was stronger. But if by chance it came back when I didn't have "big brother" to hide behind, I know we'd wreck more than just some goods in a store.

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked this little one-shot with my OC, Crystal. I have a few other stories featuring her and you can find those on my profile. Thanks for reading ~


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